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Crush Laura Susan Johnson 9781105749001 Books

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Erotic, emotional, raw and candid portrait of two young gay men and the hate crime that rocks a small California community. Tammy and Jamie have been deeply in love, soul mates, since they were children, but they are finding that their love is being thwarted by both internal and external forces. An old enemy from high school unearths a horrible secret, and their love is put through the ultimate test.

Crush Laura Susan Johnson 9781105749001 Books

This book left me feeling numb, and though that would normally be a bad thing. With this book it was completely a good thing. This is a book that lives with you after you have finished. It can break you and put you back together, only to break you again with a few minutes notice. It is not to be read on a bad day and needs to be read by more and more people until there is no one who has read it. I cannot explain well enough how beautiful and thought provoking this book is. Every time I read this book I am left feeling changed inside. It is something that needs to be experienced in order to understand.

Crush, is a book about two men. Tammy and Jamie have known each other since high school. Or so we are lead to believe. But in fact they met years before. That was really the moment I fell in love. That singe scene at the grocery story when they were babies was enough. Something in that had me loose my heart and the boys held it until I had finished the last page and ever since they have held it. Nothing could have taken from the book. Sometimes a book like this is needed to get a topic out there.

Jamie and Tammy have loved and lost and loved again. But never in the course of this book did they lose their love for each other. Never did it break them beyond repair. They always had their love, even when they didn't realize it themselves. It was something incredible sweet and poignant. I wanted to cry so much during this book, but I was not able to. Tears could not come for them. Instead my heart shattered and broke with theirs and healed when theirs did. Through the book their love kept me reading and unable to put this wonderful story down. Even when we are broken we are never truly doomed to be broken forever. We can heal, but for that we need that person to love us.

When the boys loved in this book I felt it. The sex scenes were almost as sad as some of the other scenes. Jamie's thoughts and feelings during those times were conflicted. It hear depressing (in a good way) to read how he felt. After the attack they became more romantic. After they had truly begun to heal I stopped wanting to cry during them. They were erotic and true but they also had a loving side to them. Something that is not shown enough in mm romances. I truly believed they became one when they had sex. It was something that caught me off guard after the first sex scene.

The abuse in this book is horrific. I read Touch Me Gently and Dream Boy. But this book managed to be even more heart breaking than those two combined. I was prepared and then I was not. Abuse is never an easy topic to discuss. But this covered that and did it so well. Jamie was tortured and destroyed by the people who were supposed to love him the most. In my mind I felt that his parents should have been shot and I would have been willing to do it. What they did was sick, disgusting and gruesome. But what they did happens, and no matter how hard we deny it. Jamie's parents are in our world. Just disguised to blend in with people and not on the pages of a book.

Rape is a controversial subject. This book approaches it in different ways. There was Jamie's experiences with rape and then there was Tammy's. Both are real and both are heartbreaking and both happen in real life. The difference is their reactions. Jamie turned to God and Tammy self destructed. In this though some may hate Tammy for his reaction to the abuse, he was only a child. Every child acts differently and both boys in this handled their grief their own way. That is something that they should not be hated for.

Religion is a strong feature in this book. But it's not shoved down the readers throat. If it had I would have been discouraged by this book. But it was done tastefully and really added to the experience. Jamie's survival was partly down to his ever strong belief in God. It helped me understand him as a person and made me smile for him, it was his own way of handling things. Of dealing with the past and connecting with something that made him thankful. Something that made him appreciate what he had. I could not understand it, but it was Jame. It was such a nice thing to see.

Tammy was the polar opposite in that sense. He didn't believe in God and so that made his views different again. I related to Tammy better in that sense. He was not someone who had their belief to help them, he didn't understand why things happened and he had to find his own way in the world. Jamie had the belief that God does things for a reason. God saved Jamie. Although I believe in God, I am not the most religious, and I find it harder to connect with a character who is completely devoted to God. But the way Jamie and Tammy differed I understood and connected with them on that level. Laura Susan Johnson did a wonderful job with both aspects of belief.

The secondary characters in this added the good and the bad to the story. There were friends and foe in this and the good and the evil. But never was there a character that was not needed. Tammy's mother and Jamie's "sister" Stacey. Those were two of the more positive characters, Lloyd was another character who although we did not see a lot of was Jamie's "hero" in the beginning. He was someone I was truly thankful for in this story. The strong sense of family and love in this was beautiful and through the family, characters came alive for me.

If you want to believe everything in life is good and that children stay innocent and are always protected. Do not read this book! This book will point out the flaws in the world. It will show everything that would kill a child. It will break you and put you on the edge of your seat. It will show the journey of two abused children right into adulthood. It will show you the innocence and childishness of people who have suffered to the last. Who grew up too soon but never really grew up at all. It's a book that will never be matched and something the author should be proud of.

Laura Susan Johnson has written a beautiful book. It is a book that I could personally read again and again, and take something from it each time. Nothing but beautiful could describe it and although some of the topics are not beautiful the true love aspect is. I highly recommend this book. Read this and be prepared to change, it's not easy and may take some time to read. But this is one of those special books. Laura Susan Johnson is an amazing author and I cannot wait to read more and more from her. She has written a treasure and exposed the world to a magnificent story.

I am sorry for the long rant. But this book deserves every positive thing and more. I'm not sure I will ever be able to do this book justice. It all has to be said time and time again. The reviews that are here are proof of that. It will be a book that will get to the top eventually and it will be discussed more and more. I'm not sure any book will leave me with the same emotions as this one has. This one will always remain in my heart.

Read it and fall in love just like I did.

Product details Paperback 438 pages Publisher lulu.com (July 5, 2012) Language English ISBN-10 1105749002

Tags : Crush [Laura Susan Johnson] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Erotic, emotional, raw and candid portrait of two young gay men and the hate crime that rocks a small California community. Tammy and Jamie have been deeply in love,Laura Susan Johnson,Crush,lulu.com,1105749002,Social Science Gay Studies
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Crush Laura Susan Johnson 9781105749001 Books Reviews

Terrible that anyone should ever experience that level of abuse or torture and even with this being fiction and it does happen in "real" life.
Buy it. Read it. Love it. I'm pretty sure that's all that needs to be said. I don't want to summarize the plot, or try to explain what this book is about. There's plenty of story, and it's deep, and dark, and emotionally rich. That's why I loved this one. It moved me and made me so appreciative for the existence of good people in this world.

This book was a well edited, well written, and ultimately just a very powerful story. The characters, even the evil ones, were perfectly developed. I give it 5 stars, and seriously hope the writer has more work coming soon.
What a heartbreaking and yet beautiful story of unspeakable abuse of a child and the long recovery process afterward. Crush is a tragedy and a love story. It is graphic, intense physically and emotionally, both in the highs and lows of these characters' lives. There are definitely triggers for abuse survivors, but this story never loses focus from the recovery. I never had the sense, as a reader, that elements were added for shock value. Laura Susan Johnson tells the reader everything about Jamie's life because she wants you to understand him and share his burden with him. This is why Crush is so affective and why it will stay with me for a long time.
An amazingly moving story of two men ,who as children, live through horrors no one should have to even contemplate. Fate brought them together as toddlers and from that brief encounter to the years of torment and abuse, to finding each other again in high school. They love each other. They don't always trust it but they always feel it. Jamie's life is a portrait of horrifying abuse at the hands of his own parents and later buy ignorant bigots and even one time friends. Tammy is abused sexually by his uncle and is so starved for male affection doesn't even realize its wrong. These two damaged men find a love that will bring them through some terrible things and make them stronger for it.

This book is not easy to read. As I read about Jamie and Tammy's abuse, I had to stop and think that this isn't just Fiction. These atrocities go on everyday all around the world. From child abuse to hate crimes. Sexual assaults and murder of children and brutal beatings of gay and transgender youths and adults. Often times ending in their deaths.

This is a book that everyone should read. These may be fictional characters but they are real life for some.

Read it, share it, talk with others about it.
I can honestly say this is the most emotionally draining book I have read...Chase in Shadow almost feels like a picnic after what this book put me through.

A part of me wishes I've never read this, because it was so hard, to just see the evil, the pain, the suffering, and injustice inflicted on Jamie and Tammy...It is one long, hard journey that they both go through... At times I felt like wanting to throw up, just to purge my head of all these disturbing, horrifying things that happen to Jamie, and Tammy.
But then to be able to see the love between Jamie and Tammy that lasts almost their whole lives, to see them emerge from a hell, to see them come out in the end...Well, I think I can also say it made it all worthwhile. This is first and foremost a story about love, after all. In all its forms.

My emotions are a wreck right now, so this will be brief.
This was a beautifully written book, one that I know will stay with me forever. I don't know if I can recommend this book to anyone...but at the same time I feel that this book should be read by everyone. It is an ugly look into hatred and cruelty. I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to put themselves through that by reading this book...But it really is also a hopeful story, one of survival, forgiveness, redemption. Again, just is a really long, hard journey to get there.
This book left me feeling numb, and though that would normally be a bad thing. With this book it was completely a good thing. This is a book that lives with you after you have finished. It can break you and put you back together, only to break you again with a few minutes notice. It is not to be read on a bad day and needs to be read by more and more people until there is no one who has read it. I cannot explain well enough how beautiful and thought provoking this book is. Every time I read this book I am left feeling changed inside. It is something that needs to be experienced in order to understand.

Crush, is a book about two men. Tammy and Jamie have known each other since high school. Or so we are lead to believe. But in fact they met years before. That was really the moment I fell in love. That singe scene at the grocery story when they were babies was enough. Something in that had me loose my heart and the boys held it until I had finished the last page and ever since they have held it. Nothing could have taken from the book. Sometimes a book like this is needed to get a topic out there.

Jamie and Tammy have loved and lost and loved again. But never in the course of this book did they lose their love for each other. Never did it break them beyond repair. They always had their love, even when they didn't realize it themselves. It was something incredible sweet and poignant. I wanted to cry so much during this book, but I was not able to. Tears could not come for them. Instead my heart shattered and broke with theirs and healed when theirs did. Through the book their love kept me reading and unable to put this wonderful story down. Even when we are broken we are never truly doomed to be broken forever. We can heal, but for that we need that person to love us.

When the boys loved in this book I felt it. The sex scenes were almost as sad as some of the other scenes. Jamie's thoughts and feelings during those times were conflicted. It hear depressing (in a good way) to read how he felt. After the attack they became more romantic. After they had truly begun to heal I stopped wanting to cry during them. They were erotic and true but they also had a loving side to them. Something that is not shown enough in mm romances. I truly believed they became one when they had sex. It was something that caught me off guard after the first sex scene.

The abuse in this book is horrific. I read Touch Me Gently and Dream Boy. But this book managed to be even more heart breaking than those two combined. I was prepared and then I was not. Abuse is never an easy topic to discuss. But this covered that and did it so well. Jamie was tortured and destroyed by the people who were supposed to love him the most. In my mind I felt that his parents should have been shot and I would have been willing to do it. What they did was sick, disgusting and gruesome. But what they did happens, and no matter how hard we deny it. Jamie's parents are in our world. Just disguised to blend in with people and not on the pages of a book.

Rape is a controversial subject. This book approaches it in different ways. There was Jamie's experiences with rape and then there was Tammy's. Both are real and both are heartbreaking and both happen in real life. The difference is their reactions. Jamie turned to God and Tammy self destructed. In this though some may hate Tammy for his reaction to the abuse, he was only a child. Every child acts differently and both boys in this handled their grief their own way. That is something that they should not be hated for.

Religion is a strong feature in this book. But it's not shoved down the readers throat. If it had I would have been discouraged by this book. But it was done tastefully and really added to the experience. Jamie's survival was partly down to his ever strong belief in God. It helped me understand him as a person and made me smile for him, it was his own way of handling things. Of dealing with the past and connecting with something that made him thankful. Something that made him appreciate what he had. I could not understand it, but it was Jame. It was such a nice thing to see.

Tammy was the polar opposite in that sense. He didn't believe in God and so that made his views different again. I related to Tammy better in that sense. He was not someone who had their belief to help them, he didn't understand why things happened and he had to find his own way in the world. Jamie had the belief that God does things for a reason. God saved Jamie. Although I believe in God, I am not the most religious, and I find it harder to connect with a character who is completely devoted to God. But the way Jamie and Tammy differed I understood and connected with them on that level. Laura Susan Johnson did a wonderful job with both aspects of belief.

The secondary characters in this added the good and the bad to the story. There were friends and foe in this and the good and the evil. But never was there a character that was not needed. Tammy's mother and Jamie's "sister" Stacey. Those were two of the more positive characters, Lloyd was another character who although we did not see a lot of was Jamie's "hero" in the beginning. He was someone I was truly thankful for in this story. The strong sense of family and love in this was beautiful and through the family, characters came alive for me.

If you want to believe everything in life is good and that children stay innocent and are always protected. Do not read this book! This book will point out the flaws in the world. It will show everything that would kill a child. It will break you and put you on the edge of your seat. It will show the journey of two abused children right into adulthood. It will show you the innocence and childishness of people who have suffered to the last. Who grew up too soon but never really grew up at all. It's a book that will never be matched and something the author should be proud of.

Laura Susan Johnson has written a beautiful book. It is a book that I could personally read again and again, and take something from it each time. Nothing but beautiful could describe it and although some of the topics are not beautiful the true love aspect is. I highly recommend this book. Read this and be prepared to change, it's not easy and may take some time to read. But this is one of those special books. Laura Susan Johnson is an amazing author and I cannot wait to read more and more from her. She has written a treasure and exposed the world to a magnificent story.

I am sorry for the long rant. But this book deserves every positive thing and more. I'm not sure I will ever be able to do this book justice. It all has to be said time and time again. The reviews that are here are proof of that. It will be a book that will get to the top eventually and it will be discussed more and more. I'm not sure any book will leave me with the same emotions as this one has. This one will always remain in my heart.

Read it and fall in love just like I did.